mike's epicest epic

AdventureLog 31
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The undisposed treasure from prior logs:
Bloodstone (50 gp), Carnelian (50 gp), Chrysoprase (50 gp), [totalled]
Citrine (50 gp), Onyx (50 gp), Quartz (50 gp), 2 x Star rose quartz (50 gp), [totalled]
Spell Scroll (Detect Evil and Good),
Potion of Climbing, [Trogdor]
Silk Hunter’s Cap threaded with Platinum (25 gp), [totalled]
Carved Wooden Staff (25 gp) [totalled]
3 art pieces (#25) [totalled]
2 scimitars 2 rapiers

[Log 26. From the sphinx]
13000 gp, [totalled]
1500 pp, [totalled]
Garnet Figurine (of a Goddess of Destruction) set with Jet (750 gp), [totalled]
Small Tapestry threaded with Fine Steel (750 gp), [totalled]
Leopard Fur Cloak (750 gp), [totalled]
Tooled Leather Coat (750 gp), [totalled]
2 x Bolt of Electrum Cloth (750 gp), [totalled]

(-100 gp for carpenters. accounted.) [totalled]
(-250 gp for our tiefling’s network.) [totalled]
(-15,000 gp Tower, fortified.) [totalled]
(-2,500 gp Theater.) [totalled]
(-2,500 gp Library.) [totalled]
(-2,000 gp Trogdor Carousing). [totalled]

- totalled -
10,100 gp [acrued]

Rescue human prisoner from 2nd floor. He’s jonesing for baked goods. His name is Fabrique Monkay.
Pyramid of the Trog collapses. Fabrique will become skilled hireling (2 gp/day) steward.

Weird compass now pointing west most of the time. Compass ratchets and spins occasionally. No longer pointing towards temple.

Being tracked by Gnolls. They got dead after Trodor starts levitating.

4 pp [acrued]
26 sp [acrued]
184 gp [acrued]

Trogor reads his book. Bonus damage for attack just following rage. Recurrent passage in unknown language.

Make it back to Traveler’s rest.

Grumph is on the unfinished house with a whip. Harassing workers. Arc’Terix cast invisible on Grumph again. “Where my hands”

Into town. Human with dragon mask recognizes Trogdor. “He has returned as it was fortold. I gotta tell the guys.” Trogdor follows the disciple. Arc’Terix and Sander continue to tavern.

Unic (our teifling) is actually cogent.
Rumor was we were killed. Check with Reginald (Ada Tada’s son) leader of adventure guild.

One of the two council seats has been filled, Mithelye, some half-elf Aristocrat type bitch. Don’t know much about her except she thinks she’s better than everyone else. She hasn’t done anything too crazy since gaining her new role though. unskilled drunken spy master bonus of 250 gp. ( 2gp/day skilled hireling) Job to polish and deliver copper coins for Rat King.

Expansions to Guildhall structure.
Library: 2500 gp. 15 days. (might not be needed if we build a Manor)
Advantage on arcana, history, nature, religion
Theater: 2500 gp. 15 days.
Advantage on perform. Bonus inspiration.

Ongoing daily cost for Skilled Hirelings:
Drunken Spymaster; Uniq; 2 gp;
Steward; Fabrique; 2 gp;

Building Tower or Noble Manor as new structure.

Trogor receives hero-deity welcome at Colosseum. “Show us the true way” (basically, kick the shit out of something in the arena.) “WELCOME TO THE TROGLOSSEUM!” -Trogdor
Trogor murders and Anubian. The crowd goes insane.

Trogdor says bring on the next one. A wraith made of fire (firegeist) shows up. Trogdor makes short work of that as well. Trogdor is still under the influence of immunity to alcohol.

Going to adventure guild. Confront Reginald. He claims ignorance. Gave us names of three of his subordinates. Reginald has two tentacle rods.

Trogdor murders aphitere and skitterling.

A giant block party ensues. A Colosseum full of people are maximally excited.

Sander nopes out when he gets made while wearing a hat of disguise.

Grumph has more stuff.
Rat King has more stuff.

Visit Rat King. Tells us Birtha’s disciple Rasanz is behind plot to trying to murder us. Reginald smells like marble cologne. Doesn’t smell like sandstone or granite.

Rasanz: Male dwarf scholar. He wears expensive clothing and a sling of vials and potions. Has support of city dwarves and a significant portion of dwarven trade goes through him
Allied with Britha. Wants to be in the council, currently nullified by relationship with Britha, who was leader of Vecna cult.

Let’s go to Tinkerton. ~20 days. Earl Jackson enforces roads.

Notes from the sewer adventures
Rough notes from the last 2 sessions in the sewers

Room numbers are based on the order in which we entered them, not the numbers generated by donjon/mike.


room X:
entered the room we skipped
motes broke off from the beam of light and we fought them

floor 2:
room 1:
trogdor flame handsded the gas spore
then ploofed to astral plane
gas spore asploded
spiders and crocodiles attack the party
killed everything eventually…
some poison, lots of damage
trogdor vs crocodiles very funny saves
room 2:
rough stove
pallet for sleeping
bones of dead humanoids
24 gp in stone debris
room 3: trog-door equipped
room 4:
“mungo” door to the east
trogdor kicks down west door while party goes east
mungo door opens when dudes in west door run and flip switch
room 5:
a big ass shield guardian
we fight
arc’teryx basically did everything with heat metal
sander and trogdor missed a lot
but when trogdor did hit it was usually decent
also crazy magic damage reduction for trodor
took hits like a serious tank
trogdor went down for the second time
92 gp

We mopped up that Mungo shield guardian…

in the same room:
we discuss that constructs are associated with WIZARDS!

we go back a bit to the unopened iron doors:
“the usual fashion”
trogdor failed, hurt himself
sander failed, it was lightning trapped, but barely escaped
trypan failed, because behind the door was spiders
trypan got webbed and poisoned
sander shot one
arc’ killed one and danced away
trogdor did the oil flask fire breath thing
arc’teryx did a twist&flip+hair tustle over the gnome, AND hit a spider with his whip, for the killing blow
second flip whip kill after trogdor smashed the one that shot itself the eyes twice with web
trypan tells the party that the spiders probably have a lot to do with the drow, the drider, and lolth, the goddess of “treachery and spiders and shit”
trogdor considers eating spiders
arc’teryx eats some after failing to convince trog to
it’s… just okay

back in the Mungo room:
long rest

we approach the unopened door to the north
trogdor listens and smells
it was trapped… trogdor got poison damage
he then kicked it down
kitchens are due east. lunch smells good.
the assassins probably take their meals here

we take the hallway south
it leads around to the kitchen, too
no one is there
weapons lying around
we eat what slightly overcooked food was there
smells like warm bedding to the east, to trogdor
north has no smells

to the east
barracks, apparently
we made sander invisible and let him explore
lots of rope and several dark gray cloaks
the cloaks carry the symbol for vecna

sander, invisible, explores another hallway south
it goes pretty far…
it’s a door back to the room with the dead guy

sander goes south past the barracks
hallways for days

sander goes north past the barracks
“this appears to be where the magic happens”
meeting room with tables, lighting, book cases
anyone who was here has left
there’s a note… which we ignore

we go south around some bends:
sander, invisible, finds 4 enemies
trogdor gives him oil flasks
sander lays down oil flasks under the guys
trogdor sneaks up and ignites one of them
can’t speak; bubbles from mouth (tides of chaos)
we assassinate, magic, and maul them
sander one-shot the caster
we get 30 gp!

we find the stairs, but clear the floor:
sander takes the note from the table
“you have done well. accept this treasure as a token of my gratitude and as payment for future donations”
bookcase on northern wall

we find a room with people actively dying to the north
there’s a symbol not to vecna here
probably lolth
a dark skinned elf saunters in from an alcove to the south
says slippery, hissing quality stuff
she has two giant spiders with her
arc’ makes her scale mail glow red hot
trogdor smacks her with an oil flask in a pillow
also a maul
we continue to fight…
she poisons trogdor
trogdor greased himself
she and her spiders were some tough cookies
but we eventually got ’em
she had a “scourge” weapon… not cool. also roasted scale mail
we got 185 gp!

south of the murder room, “southern alcove”:
symbols to vecna are messed up
symbol to lolth is in their place
mostly dead assassins in this area
likely killed by priestess to lolth
likely re-consecrating area to lolth

north west room:
phase spiders
92 gp
spider’s poison HURTS
one of them phases…

treasure room!!!!:
3117 gp!
potion of healing!
note in undercommon!

we should say hi to the rat king on the way out:
gives us rewards for fighting assassins:
3x potion of greater healing
total gold is 8827 gp
spell scroll (Calm)
Goggles of Night

total xp: 9500 / 4 = 2375

You Can't Spell Manslaughter Without Laughter
Enlist in the Hard Corps

Need to finish this

The “Lost” Journal of Arc’teryx

Tales of the Heroes of Auto-Immolatio
Chapter 89 – Spelunking and Spelashing and Speiders

Thieves and Assassins. It’s a classic matchup, and everyone has their favorite team. Auto-Immolatio threw their lot in with the Thieves’ Guild because otherwise things would be awkward with Sander, though with their collective résumé, they’d look good to either guild on paper. Also the assassins were probably in league with the god the party was hunting. Also the thieves were going to pay the party to mess with the assassins. Calling it win-win was like saying Trogdor “thought fire was neato.” At the earliest opportunity, our heroes embarked on a delightfully ironic quest into the cavernous sewers beneath the city, the Assassins’ Lair and the Den of the Rat King, to kill killers.

Scene: rainwater, drainage sewers. Party descends upon a stairway into darkness. A sign reads, “Beware, you enter the domain of the Rat King.” Beneath in blood reads, “Fuck off Rat King.” Dead rats everywhere. Cue jokes, like “one way ticket to murdertropolis” and “deadly deals at the super merc-it” and “it’s a steel” and “you won’t be disa-point-ed.” But nothing brightens the mood. Dark deeds are afoot.

Further in, another signed etched into the wall reads, “Piss on you Rat King.” Seems the Rat King is popular, but probably needs some PR help. As the party advances down a long hallway, a trap is sprung! A net falls on Trogdor, and then… nothing. He is cut loose, and the group presses on. A dark room lay bare but for a chain. Another trap, “Ah hah,” says Sander. Alas, ’tis but a chain of unexpected ordinarity. In the adjacent room, however, were hosts of extra-ordinarity. Inviting our heroes in for a casual meal, a family of giant spiders met their end in a violent inferno fueled by a full bandolier of flasks of oil. Their charred remains were quickly abandoned and forgotten.

More rooms contained debris, halfling bones, and more signage reading “Beware my wrath,” which is fairly lame as far as passive-aggressive notes go. Two men stand guard against our heroes by a door, awaiting a password. The first thing that comes to Sander’s mind is the first thing he says, and is also wrong. With some patience, through trial and error, the party manages to piece together the password, which was a simple pattern of violence with mauls, fire, arrows, and burning a guard alive by turning his armor into a form-fitting, skin-tight oven. In his awkward death throes, the burning man triggers a landslide trap that fills the doorway and bars their passage. His muffled screams heard through the rubble fade to silence as his allies give up on him.

Noblesse Oblique
To Hunt a Dark God, You Must Think Like a Dark God

An excerpt from the personal journal of Arc’teryx

The Tales of the Heroes of Auto-Immilatio
Chapter 88 – ’Twas Our Darkest Several Hours

Dear Reader,

First off, if this is the first chapter you’ve found, I want you to know that all the previous chapters definitely exist. You’re missing out, and you should look harder for them. They’re probably in an ancient dragon’s treasure horde, or something. Go collect all the pages! What are you waiting for?

Now back to the story!

As everyone knows, because it was in the last chapter, duh, the brave and noble Abercrombie was revealed to be a member of the Holy Order of the Swashbuckling Swine. People know him, but he keeps it cool, because that’s just how he is. His glowy magic powers make a bit more sense with that context. Our hero Arc’teryx is excited to learn more, if only he had a way to do so… Maybe he has a plan, and maybe it’ll happen soon!

Back at the tavern, Arc’teryx was busy styling on everyone with his Hat of Disguise and Adamantine Armor until Trogdor acquired a dope-ass Magic Cloak. “Fight swagg with swagg,” as the saying goes. Hoping to boost his stage presence, the bard used the Hat to appear a full foot taller than normal. Few, if any, have taken notice. Instead, rumors of soldiers adorned in noble purple and yellow abound.

Sander would later lead the party on an intelligence gathering operation near the docks. In hindsight, it would seem the two Dragonborn would need to gather a different kind of intelligence before such a mission, but it was worth a shot. The two instead simply roused rabble, were thrown out, and continued to dance and make music in the streets. Sander managed to meet with a shady individual who would agree to our heroes’ request to murder a man for a small sum of gold. I know what you’re thinking, because I know how that sounds, but just take it on good faith that these gallant adventurers had a good reason to pay hitmen to murder a stranger. It’s not like the mark was into charity and stuff. He was just a super annoying alcoholic. Eesh, anyway…

Arc’teryx disguised himself convincingly as a drunk old man who stumbled onto the scene of the hit, conspicuously enough to hide in plain sight. From there, Sander took over and ninja vanished his way along until the assassins took the body into a sewer. The group later found a note back at the Outrageous Dragon instructing them to bring payment to the Stamping Skunk for the dark night’s deeds.

Taking a brief hiatus from cloak and dagger tomfoolery, Arc’teryx again tested the waters for his campaign to open the eyes of the lower and middle class denizens of the city to the evils and follies of the rich and noble. He had begun to try sewing the seeds of dischord through colorful ballads and crude limericks, when he was approached by none other than Britha, an aging councilwoman bearing purple and gold finery and an amulet of glowing crystal. She walked with the weight of wealth upon her shoulders, held aloft by air of noxious superiority. Having obviously arrived because Arc’teryx was achieving some success with his musical taunts, she immediately played all the cards in her losing hand. Wisely fearing the unseen depths of his cunning plans, the bejeweled hag threatened his life while simultaneously acknowledging his talents, asking to be spared the sharper edges of his wit, requesting a favor for a friend named Lady Rasanz, and offering to lend him protection. Bribing him with a big jewel could have been an attempt at irony, but more likely she simply saw more dragon about him than satirist. Arc’teryx’s first groupie was a complete psycho.

In the end the party accepted her offer, because it was late and a bad time to make rash decisions. If she thought they were all super stoked on her, it would just be more convenient later. The notion of someone like Kater Erneyng attaining a seat on the council through sinister means and manipulation was also intriguing, and deserving of attention. The team was looking for evidence to substantiate rumors about a council member holding ties to Vecna. And lo, as good things come to those who actively disrupt the forces of darkness, a letter inviting them to an obvious trap referenced their recently destroyed idol to the dark god as bait.

Little planning was required to pull a quick reversal on the sprung trap, and suddenly a dark alley was slick with a pulpy bandit mist. Two survivors were held for questioning, but one was a blithering idiot and the other killed himself to slightly delay our heroes’ progress, like a spiteful prick. His body was hung near the wealthy district as a message to team Vecna. Comically, in a cosmic sense, and in a gruesome coincidence, the body of the priest who destroyed their idol was left out in a similar fashion on the same night. Touche, Vecna.

  • Library
    • Iianed: researching Vekna in the library, she’s not evil
    • Arc’teryx distracted her while Sandor stole her books
  • Temple District
    • met priests; showed them our lich deity (Vekna) symbol; they threw it in holy water / took it away because it’s basically a deity listening device
    • there is a Vekna cult in town; leader is one of the 9 town leaders
  • Alternate tavern
    • waiting for assassin guild contact, they don’t show
  • We heard (where?) that Carl the Druid is investigating near our land
  • Arc’teryx… (something more here?)
  • Home
    • found Carl
      • Carl spoke with the pig for a while
      • he’s friends with the ents; there are other, baby ents about, but they won’t grow / be sentient for many years (20-50… or more?)
      • Arc’teryx’s pig is a pig-knight?
      • Carl said to check out the house
    • we searched home and found a passage behind (in/through?) the stove
      • down some steps, trap
      • secret room
      • found another secret room behind stove in secret room
        • fought/killed 3 shadows and a shadow demon
  • Carousing
    • Trogdor: won 200gp (arm wrestling?)
    • Trypan: goes to jail
    • Sandor: 39gp gambling
    • Arc’teryx: remember getting drunk with a human who boasts being a king in a distant realm, gets a diamond
  • Arena
    • wagered 1,000gp, won… 2,000gp?
    • giant scorpion, some close calls, maybe Trogdor should have…
      • kited more with ranged attacks
      • been inspired by the party bard prior to battle
      • not completely missed (roll 1s and miss with high dmg ranged attacks)
  • Meta
    • DMG pg. 138; probably 2000gp – 3000gp for a +1AC magic item (bracers / ring / armor improvement)
2/3 and 3/3 to Traveler's Rest
2015-11-20: Met some cool dudes who were impressed by Arc'teryx's performance
  • inn at 2/3rds way: arc’teryx performance with trogdor, nearly burns down inn, very akward, got 2gp (trogdor stared down the audience for payment)
  • 10 guys we met along the road, Arc’teryx performance impressed them, they escorted us to traveler’s rest
  • volcano opened, flooded dragonborn lands
  • bad stuff source in the west, manifesting in the east based on population
  • see traveler’s rest description on obsidian portal
  • meeting with an Earl
    • got fine clothes
    • Trypan: interested in paylor, making amends (for ?)
    • ShadowStrike: ?
    • Sandor: libraries
    • Arc’teryx: helping the people, pig-servent
    • Trodgor: “Fight and burn shit.”
      • 1-sq-mile parcel of land (East across the river): maintain it, expand Traveler’s Rest domain, show fealty to city, keep land free of bandits, etc.; can rent it out for farming and such
      • TR is trying to expand borders & surrounding safety area
  • blackmail information on people from human lands who need help, sandor takes to thieves guild
Stupid, Sexy Flanders' Rusalka
2015-11-06: Session ?; goblins, an anti-lycan potion, and a dangerous pond
  • fetch and carry (FAC)
    • goblin cave, killed a bunch of goblins, their leader, and an ?
    • went in the cave and found / killed 2 owlbears – trogdor raged and lost control again, was bound by Trypan before he could attack his allies
    • Trogdor is aware that he lost time (wis check natural 20)
  • town bulletin board
    • check out flanders’ farm
  • intel from the inn (wolf & bucket) back in town
    • flanders farm – they all disappeared
  • trogdor drank some stuff
    • lycanthroply effectively neutered
    • side effects unknown
  • at flanders farm
    • rusalka & pirhana
    • I think we drained and burned the pond?


meta: Level 5!

Raging Were-Brawl on the Bridge
2015-10-23: Session ?; The Bridge on the Road to Traveler's Rest
  • fight on the bridge with Greul’s henchman (name?), who was there to get Trogdor
  • Trogdor raged and unintentionally went werewolf
    • killed lots of guys
    • attacked allies a bit
  • Trogdor was bound and woke up in chains – “hey guys, looks like they got the drop on me… go the keys?”
  • Arrive in town, allies make inquiries about helping someone suffering from lycanthropy (next time, say you’re hunting one)
  • The apothecary (mage?) needs us to do some FAC-ing thing and he can help cure the lycanthropy
Do Not Test Trogdor
2015-09-25: Session ?; The Road to Traveler's Rest

Everyone read their books and Trogdor’s Flammable Accelerants for Fun and Profit taught him a new flame trap. It also suggested there’s a better flame trap book somewhere in The Great Desert of Alonach.

As the party left the previous temple / dungeon, there was a large explosion to the east in the Dragonborn lands that sent shock waves through the earth. Who knows what that was – travelers on the road and guards at the checkpoint generally just agreed that it was bad, and that they (Tieflings) were happy since it happened to the dragonborn.

The party resupplied at a smallish town on the road leading west of the (?) mountains located west of Honor’s Hold. With all of the talk about lycanthropes lately, Trogdor decided to get his maul silvered. It felt a little funny and energetic when he tested it it, but it’s probably got something to do with his recent Sorcery awakening.

As the party was exiting town, the local magistrate demanded that everyone be tested for lycanthropy with their ancient silver dagger. They allowed the party cleric, Trypan, to administer the test to the party. Trogdor refused, because who the hell are these guys. Things were about to get ugly when Arc’teryx, by chance, spotted a werewolf that very instant. Trogdor leapt into action and lead the search, but was unable to find anything. The townsfolk thanked him for being awesome, and the party set off.

The immediate plan is to head to Traveler’s Rest and then search for some guy mentioned in ShadowStrike’s book somewhere in the marsh east of Traveler’s Rest. According to the book, he’ll only be around until the end of the year.


  • Trypan was deceptive in his (successful) attempt to take over the party testing; he also pocketed the ancient silver dagger
  • The other party members books’ each suggest finding something/someone all over the continent
  • Some of the books dates suggest they were written in the future
  • Sander’s book that he recovered is different – it’s basically the same info, but some passages are now more clear/vague and written in a different style
  • The book handwriting does not match character handwriting
    DM Edit
  • Each book is dedicated to that particular character.
Trogdor Kills Undead Stuff
2015-09-11: Session ?; Battle in the underground lair/dungeon

Trogdor kicked down every door and beat up every bad guy he saw. One of the guys hit him pretty hard – enough to knock Trogdor back against the wall, but he laughed it off and easily decapitated the foe with a counter-attack… or something… who knows – Trogdor won. Then Trogdor searched out the rest of the bad guys and killed them too. Some of his companions might have helped a little, cleaning up the scraps. In the end he killed some guy he’s pretty sure he already killed, and got a book about burning stuff.


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