mike's epicest epic

Adventure Log 43
One time we killed two gorgons

Short west recovering from Manticore battle.

Manticore tails x 5

Heading back to Mac to collect rewards. 20 gp reward.

He reminds you that there are still the flying lizards to take care of, which have also been stealing livestock. He doesn’t have much money to pay you, but says it’s been hunted several times by people who don’t come back, so it’s probably built up a good stockpile of loot by now. It’s been seen circling the old halfling mine at Verdegris hill.

Get lunch and going on the way to the flying lizard.

Roscoe sees his “Freend” (fiend). Neither Arc nor Sander can see it.
Gives instructions to find phylactery of Trogdor. Looking for a rock. Find dragonborn in hill and ask him about it. Also, tell Arc’Terix to suit up.
Long Version
Yeah, so, it turns out that the world really needs trogdor, so I’m going to give you some help right now. I think it’d be great if you could head into the hill up there and talk with the dragonborn inside of it. Turns out that he can help you with the location of the phylactery!

Anyway, it’s probably a rock, because, you know, most of the matter here is rock, so yeah, guy, it’s probably a rock. Anyway, go in and ask the dragonborn there. Also, your boy Arc needs to be on his game for this, so tell him to tune up! He begins to shimmer as he stalks away into the trees and disappears.

Continuing on Mac’s directions to Verdegris hill & the mine entrance. Sign:
Bards Welcome. Everyone else fuck off.
Talking Squirrel is at the sign.

The squirrel rears up and states: “Beware and know that you are entering the domain of Kerdyr, The Bunny Killer. Woe to those who have no tales and who laugh not at his jokes.” This squirrel’s voice suddenly deepens to that of James Earl Jones. “You must face…um….THREE….NO! FOUR trials to gain his wisdom… or, he’ll just kill you anyway or something. The peril is perilous!” And with that, the squirrel scampers off.

Into the mine.

Nobody made it out of this corridor. There are bodies lying on the ground as if they all suddenly collapsed while completing various tasks, the flesh decomposing in a pile as if it simply fell off. Only the bones are left and they have odd tiny holes in them. The walls are pitted similarly.

Sander deduces the damage was acid.

Find some kobold alchemists that throw bombs. They’re tougher than they look.
50GP, Carved Wooden Staff (25 gp)

Take a long rest. Come back to the mine.

Find kobold chieftan. Arc’ illusions a large red dragon head. Roscoe runs in with “have at you!” Kobolds die. 30gp.

Clear lv 2.

100’ down into level 2. Deep rumbling voice, “two trials remain”

Sneaking from room to room collecting treasure:
1. Painted Glass Miniature (of a Castle) (25 gp)
2. Bronze Cloth Choker (25 gp) as well as 150 gold
3. Leather Mask (25 gp), 160 PP

4. Find two giant metal bulls (Gorgons). They died.
Eversmoking Bottle.
5. 1950 gp, all stacked very neatly with a beautiful black pearl on top: Pearl of Power

7. Galeb Durr and an Earth Elemental.
As you re-examine the area in the Northeast corner of the room you discover 70000 cp, Brooch of Shielding.

Disembodied voice throughout the mine:
“You’ve had a clue at the beginning and now another in this very room. Tell me about myself.”

Sander: You’re a copper dragon.
Correct answer. Doors open.
There is an adult copper dragon.

Adventure Log 41

In mayors house. Surrounded by city guard. House is burning.

Arc’terix pulls a weekend at Bernie’s with the mayor’s corpse out the window. Tells the townsfolk the tall people are good.

Party goes out the roof and jumps to the next building.

Sander and Arc’terix talk. Decide Urbanne needs to die. Rapier to the back through the heart. Pushed her corpse off the edge. Sneak away back to tavern to collect our stuff, and get out of town.

Heading toward Lefterose.

Adventure Log 40

In Middlebury

After a night of murders, go back to Manticore’s Tail Tavern. Morning.
Getting stink eye from tavern patrons in the morning at breakfast.
Roscoe buys them a round of breakfast eggs and orange juice.
Reception warms.

New Rumors:

  • New merchandise at magic shop.
  • Merchant named Travis disappeared. His daughter Henrietta opened up the shop this morning and suspects a conspiracy of the upper class.

Two corpses and a pile of ash where there use to be three bodies. Former werewolves are not wolfy anymore. Takes notes on what bodies look like.

Going to see Henrietta at North edge of town. Vegetable farm. She’s upset and manic:
Ghost story is crap.
Anti-government people have been taken.
Sander is impressed about her statistical acumen.
Her accounts:

  • A pony rancher disappeared after declining a relatively unfair deal proposed by the captain of the guard.
  • A man at a town hall meeting openly called the new tax proposal by the mayor a foolish piece of dung. Two days later he was gone.
  • My own father made a scene at the checkpoint upon entering the city after declaring he had roughly 200 tomatoes to bring back after attempting to sell them in easton. The checkpoint guard was reprimanded for incorrectly ascertaining the fruit/vegetable status of her father and disappeared later that evening although extenuating circumstances were in effect including all plants growing about 5 times as large all of a sudden. Her father disappeared last night, a day later.

Arc’terix reassures Henrietta and Urbane is jealous. Oh and snap.

Go talk to the captain of the guard. Unsuccessful.

Go to City Hall and sleight of hand away from the guards. Can’t get the mayor. Going to hall of records for copy of tax proposal.

Sander suggests we tail the mayor after work hours.

To the magic shop in the meantime:
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Potion of Climbing (dmg 187)
Spell Scroll (Light) (dmg 200)
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Potion of Climbing (dmg 187)
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Potion of Healing (dmg 187)
Spell Scroll (Unseen Servant) (dmg 200)
Ring of Warmth (dmg 193)[bought 500gp] (Arc’Terix)
Trident of Fish Command (dmg 209) [bought 500gp] (Roscoe)
Spell Scroll (Hypnotic Pattern) (dmg 200)

Problem: We don’t know what the mayor looks like.
Found out what the mayor looks like.
Find the mayors house.
Guards slam door in the Sander’s face.

Town is really racists against tall races.

Tavern encounter that evening. Beat up berserkers. Bought beers.

Ghosts shows back up. Leads us to the mayor’s house
Get stopped by city guards. They pick a fight. They lose. Hard.
16 gp

Snuck into Mayor’s house. Busted in on card game. 3 Werewolves. 1 Wererat. 1 priest (the mayor). Rescue storage room full of captives, maybe food. Arc’Terix and Sander burn the rugs.

1900 cp,
800 sp,
70 gp,
Bolt of Silk (25 gp),
Fine Cloth Pennant trimmed with Leopard Fur (25 gp),
Feathered bound Book (blank) (25 gp),
Iron Urn (25 gp),
Painted Glass Box (25 gp),
Painted Glass Mask (25 gp),
Spell Scroll (Spider Climb),
Cap of Water Breathing, (Roscoe)
Potion of Animal Friendship,
Potion of Poison

Adventure Log 39

Into Eastbourne. By and for smaller folk.

Tavern: Stout Oak. Modest place with small stage.

-9gp for the night. Price gouging! This town does not like medium sized creatures.

Arc’terix plays “Sammy got eaten by a tiny dragon”. Gets 4gp back.
Some 3 gnomes giving Urbane some rude comments. Roscoe goes over to handle the situation:
He suggests they buy us a round of drinks. (Intimidates)
Arc and Sander hat of disguise into tall versions of Roscoe.
Midget fight ensues. 12 thugs

“No murder in the bar” Arc’teryx quips, “yeah, gnome murder”
Sander buys drinks and reads.
Arc’teryx performs in the morning as “tall Roscoe”

Next town is middlebury.
Asked to declare foriegn fruits and vegetables at checkpoint into town.
Sander declares the Yunagu cake.
Arc’terix turns around and surreptitiously casts plant growth on the checkpoint. “There’s your fuckin’ vegetables”

Lodging: Zed Problema
Sander steals valuable books from the library. (75gp worth of books)
Arc & Urbane watch.

01: Some people are disappearing. Just a few at a time, but probably averaging out to about 2-3 a week. The guard is simply calling it emigration and start talking statistics about how the town is growing on the whole. Problem is that the people disappearing are not the kind of people who would just take off. They are established citizens, children, business people.
02 Clerics are in a bit of a tizzy. There are some unnatural things occurring. Sightings of ghosts and whatnot.
03 Some very random changes of fortune have occurred around town.

Sander and Roscoe investigate ghost:
Eyewitness acount of ghost pointing and looking at them. Gesturing out the window. “Ghost” was glowing and ethereal. Humaniod. Did not talk.
Continuing on ghost investigation to the witnesses house. Arc’terix casts fog cloud to help the creepiness of the area, because ghosts like creepiness.
Immediately precipitates weeping and sadness from denizens of alleyway.
Abductions happen in the a fog. Apparently missing people and ghosts are related.
Arc’terix makes a good argument that we should abduct a homeless person. Sander does abduct one and hands him to Arc.
Discovers evidence of physical altercation… so probably fake ghosts.
Urbane and Roscoe goes along.
Searching for remainder of the night came up empty.

Roscoe goes carousing: makes 8gp with pie trophy.

Sander gets woken up by woman ghost. Motions out the window.
We get the party and follow the apparition down an alley and it disappeared.
Find 3 figures abduction some gnomes.
2 were wolves and a pale woman. Got murdered by us.
3pp 82 gp
Plan to take the bodies back to the gate in the morning.

Adventure Log 38
New Dub Step Album: Portcullis Drop

Wheel and Lever on bridge. Note on lever says, “No”. Wheel connected to chain. Lever connected to wheel.

Tied rope to Roscoe (the halfling) with instructions to pull lever after we cross bridge.

Loud pang. Whizzing noise. Portcullisis drop.

Boat coming down river makes deal with OG bandits who were coming to blockade the bridge.
OG Bandits:
2 hobgoblin captains
3 hobgoblins
1 human veteran

Roscoe has very clever plan. Ties rope to boat. Sends boat downriver. Walks on water. Ties rope to OG bandit.
Unfortunately, bandit was suffering heat metal. Rope burns.

Bandits die by fire and shatter.

Boat crashes into bridge & portcullis.
Mage on board heats metal on gate. Follow up with ice storm. Shatters metal into jagged shards and fucks up boat.

Arc’teryx flies down to boat. Hits on the mage… in the personal let’s go on a date. He wins.

5 sailors and a mage on the boat.

Mage name: Urbanne Örignalier

Aar’teryx continues to woo mage successfully.

Sander shoots a couple of burning arrows onto boat. Roscoe “pushes” boat sideways into portcullis and hastens its sinking.

Looting the bridge:
800 cp, [8 gp accrued]
10000 sp, [100 pp accrued]
2100 gp, [210 pp accrued]
100 pp, [accrued]
Feathered Ribbon (25 gp), [accrued]
Pewter Statuette (of a Goddess of Law) (25 gp) [tossed into river]
Ceramic Miniature (of a Ship) (25 gp), [rocoe]
Fine Cloth Choker threaded with Electrum (25 gp), [gift to Urbanne]
Carved Wooden Medallion (25 gp), [accrued]
Potion of Resistance (fire), [roscoe]
Immovable Rod, [arc’terix]
Oil of Slipperiness, [roscoe]
Potion of Fire Breath [roscoe]

Arc’terix & Urbanne use 2 shatter spells to shatter the portcullis’s on the bridge.

Bridge bandits not able to be tracked back to gruel.

Eastbourne: First gnome town.

Lycanthrope screening on the way in. Some lycanthropes show up. We murder them.

Adventure Log 32 - 37

Adventure logs [ 32 to 37 ]

Adventure Log 37

Dwarves and a halfling show up. Dwarves agree to take Trogdor back to Trypan (cleric) at Traveler’s rest.
Arc’Terix gives them a lit torch with the charge to keep it near and never extinguish it.

Order induced headache gone.

Zell gives reward:
Arc’Terix: 3 rings. Proof against scrying & location

Zell proposes joining Priesthood of Fickle Lady. Arc’terix says, “Consider it considered.”

Sander steals two potions of healing while Arc’Terix is performing as Trogdor. (distributed)

Run into Gruel’s minions guarding a bridge.

Adventure Log 36

At Dingleberry:
Casing the joint: a few low level magic stuff.

The Zell Job: Fetch and carry for lady of chaos (his diety). Box with cards. Don’t interact with them. Instructions on box. Bring back to Zell.

Zell thinks we’re working on his team (vs Vecna)
Arc’Terix uses greater image and conversation with Zell to get approximation of what box looks like. So we know what it looks like before going in.

Temple to the Judge. Sander goes to case the joint. Low symetrical stone building. Entrance facing West. Renzia and Ronnie: Temple of Law

Found a duck named “American Eagle” (heard of order of “Ruckus Duckus”)
Populated by Githzerai
Kill temple denizens.
Smash orb. Found box in a bit of water inside the orb.
Trogdor drinks the water… it’s stale and bad.
Retrieves box. Trogdor opens the box.

Trogdor draws cards from the box (deck of many things) 5 cards.
loses his soul. drops. bodily fine. non-playable.

Take box back to Zell.
Gives us three rings. Impervious to magical scrying and location spells. Amulet Against Proof of Detection and Location.
Finding books might be what Vecna wants.
Aligning with Chaos might be the way to actually oppose Vecna.
(On the other hand, so might be some high level magic shit to hit Vecna in the face)

exp 2917 + 150

Adventure Log 35

Investigating the Flambe scene:
body: pants are down. stabbed upward from under the ribs. surprised. was there last night during the party.
Had a thing with Flow.

Pack up tents & carry on.
Mister Misser missed a juggle.
Challenged him to a juggle off.
He missed another one.
Was a doppleganger. It is dead.

Sander takes the fire related items from Flambe’s possessions for Trogdor. (dm resolve later)

Putting out the story of “Who punched Gruel in the face again.”

Town of Dingleberry:
Very clean.
Bar not open all day.
Denizens are very particular about cleanliness.
Mild headache for Arc’teryx
Rigidly orderly.

Zell also suffering from headaches. From all the order (lawfulness).

Books and earthquakes probably linked.

Zell and Arc have conversation about order vs chaos. Order being Vecna and everyone being undead under single leader.

Note for next session:
Investigate the shit out of Dingleberry for Vecna connection or source of order.

Adventure Log 34

Abercrombie barrowed by Peony (circus trainer)

Rumors from Uniq:
Careful around city.

Bought magic stuff from dwarf council member’s merchant

Menagie headed to Tinkerton and Gruel is along the way, so we’re going with them.

Alley, everthing goes silent. Attacked by bellowing camels. Trogdor over complicates situation by not trying to kill them and subdue them.
Arc’teryx attempts to reason with Camels. Casts dimension door. Then forms a mob to go to Trodgor.

Trogdor and Sander climb the buildings and leave.

Uniq discovers source of deaths to be camels. Death by camel toe.

Menagerie Cast:
Carter: 1/2 jovial leader. shrewd business man.
Peony: barbarian head trainer. speak with animals.
Zell: A tiefling. The Carnival Barker.
Jerrry, Flow, Curly: Manual labor.
Tosser: Never seen him miss a throw. Often feeding objects to the other guys performing.
Mister Misser: Seems to have some sort of spike embedded in the space right between his eyes that’s been cut-off instead of removed. Pretty much just groans and bumps into stuff in daily life, BUT appears to be something of a savant when it comes to juggling. Can juggle 7 differently shaped objects, rotating the oblong ones whatever the number of rotations called out.
Nimble: Likes to run around while juggling up to five objects and do flips and stuff.
Flipper: Performs most of the stuff on the ground. Acts as the base for Gazelle.
Gazelle: The aerialist, does most of the moving from low to high and high to low. Does some trapeze stuff also.
Heave: Pretty fucking strong. Function seems to be tossing Gazelle up onto stuff.
1 Flambe: Alleged to make the biggest fires on the continent.
2 Silly Willy: Mute, likes to stomp around and do jazz hands.
3 Swallow: Swallow’s…everything, swords, parasol’s… Everyone seems to be friendly with her.
1 Natural: Singer
2 Sharp: Plays common songs at an octave ½ higher than you’d normally hear it.
3 Flat: Plays common songs at an octave ½ lower than you’d normally hear it.
Natural seems to bridge the gap between them, creating very intriguing chords and structure between the two others. Somehow makes their shit work.
Marcus: Performs sleight of hand as a magician, but cheats due to being a low level wizard. “Studying was a pain in the ass, so I just learned the basics and ran off to join the circus.”

Starting Travel with Menagerie:
Tension with the companions.
Man in suit with eyes made of fire banner. The Jefferson Menagerie. Sworn allegiance to demons for increased profits.
Get conscripted to attack other group. Subdue only. Arc’teryx tries to convince an enemy sentry to give up.
Fight a bunch of animals. Unicorn shows up. Fog inside of tent. Lit tent on fire.

Find a liquified body? And what might be a tent spike. Noticing that someone is missing in the morning, but nobody is missing in the afternoon. On the look out for an impostor.

Counter attack by Jefferson Menagerie. Greater invisibility on Trogdor and brutality ensues. Take a gladiator and two elven archers prisoner. Prisoners are trussed up on table. Celebrate into night.

Found a dead clown, Flambe.

Menagerie Murder Mystery.

Theory: Doppleganger

Adventure Log 33

Got back to manor after failed ambush.

Arc’teryx goes to visit Uniq:
mysterious deaths at night. bludgeoning and bite marks. maybe from menagerie in town. they’re heading west in a couple days.
Rat King has a lead on a female Cyclops.

Arc’teryx goes to adventure guild:
Gets a bit of info on Gruel

Rat messenger comes to guildhall door.
Menagerie in town heading West toward Gnome Lands. Includes a female cyclops whose is favoured of trainer.
The trainer is the only untamed thing.

Going to steal a cyclops
Carter the 1/2 elf runs the place
Header trainer Peony (she). Barbarian descent.
Barker Zell (tiefling)
They have a drake.

Fought Peony for a chance at the Cyclops (Grumphina).

Bought ad space for Auto Immolatio -10 gp. Need a banner. -5 gp

1 dose 7d6 sleepy poison -20 gp

Grumph mating ritual:
He is able to demonstrate to you by signs that he needs a large animal skin vest and new trousers,
he looks nervous for a second and also requests a bow tie and top hat.
Sander takes measurements.
-20 gp for cylops mating vestments.

Sander takes notes from Cyclops mating ritual. Sander goes invisible and records notes.
The moon is full, it is a gorgeous night as you guys return to your mostly finished house, peony taking a spot on the floor after ripping the bedding off one of your cots. It is a beautiful night of bellowing, sheep bleating, smashing, and wet squishing sounds in the near distance. It goes on for fucking hours.

Side quest complete for Grumph.

Travel west with menagerie at the behest of Peony.

-1 sp for 10 metal arrows for Sander.

Trogdor. Goat. Arena vs goat man. Wins fight. Empowered speech. Skins the goat man.

Adventure Log 32

Garn and Trogdor go carousing.
Trodor wakes up in barn next to homely looking girl. Collects high fives.
Garn wakes up to street urchins surrounding him. He’s intimidates them.

“Trodor for City Council” signs on everywhere. Ill tempered camels show up in town.

Breakfast at the Outrageous Dragon Inn. Next morning.

Garn comes back into bar.

Playing it like Garn totally went with us. Arc’Teryx recounts tale as if Garn was with us.

Arc’Teryx man-to-pig conversation. Stop adventuring with us, because he’s nearly died a few times. Stick around and be a non-combatant.

Unic was investigating an escaped cyclops… Sander gets drunk in the morning with Unic.

Proprietors of Outrageous agree to manage theater on our property.

Grumph looking for a mate.

Fabrique Monkay doing okay as steward. Has taken on a British accent.

Lot of red tape with Earl Jackson. Would be able to start in motion the expedition to Tinkerton and The Rift.

Run into Trodor followers, and a messanger. Missive from the council. Delivers letter and takes off running:

It reads, “Mighty Trogdor of the house of Trog. The council has great respect for your accomplishments in the arena and would honor you with the title of ‘Grand Ambassador’ of Travelers Rest. The title brings with it the most pressing duty of communicating the wishes of the town with the bandit leader, Gruel, who harries our shipments and even dares to attack the city guard within sight of our walls. The message you are to bring him is this, ‘Die’, and then you kill him. You are to represent the might of traveler’s rest to all bandits and enemies of traveler’s rest. To do so, you should head out of town and not come back for a while. Also, please ask your followers to stop bringing their camels into the inns with them.
The Grand Council, Traveler’s Rest”

Granted more land from council as well.

Arc’Terix composes the Balad of Gruel is a Dick.

Rumor: Gruel’s guys always target wagons…

Sander researches Cyclops mating:
Unknown mating ritual (due to death of observers)
Present female to male at home.
He presents gift.

Trap for Gruel’s bandits:
-15 gp cart
-8 gp donkey
-50 gp supplies
Added to property.

Trap doesn’t fool Gruel’s ambassador. Arc casts invisibility on cart, “there was no cart, it was a trap! you’ve been punk’d”

Fought bandit group near town. Took three hostages.
11 GP
24 SP

Trogdor interrogates:
Gruel is not nearby. Dictates what happens from afar. Gruel is to the northwest. Leader of this group was Bob. He gets messages from afar by sending. Gruel sent messages about being a messenger. Bandit leader has scroll.

Scroll recovered from bandit ‘ambassador’
“Say, ‘die’ and then kill him”

Start construction of Noble Estate with Manor
-25,000 gp
Cancel the library. Substitute in a Tavern. Guildhall has tavern and theatre.

AdventureLog 31
Back home

The undisposed treasure from prior logs:
Bloodstone (50 gp), Carnelian (50 gp), Chrysoprase (50 gp), [totalled]
Citrine (50 gp), Onyx (50 gp), Quartz (50 gp), 2 x Star rose quartz (50 gp), [totalled]
Spell Scroll (Detect Evil and Good),
Potion of Climbing, [Trogdor]
Silk Hunter’s Cap threaded with Platinum (25 gp), [totalled]
Carved Wooden Staff (25 gp) [totalled]
3 art pieces (#25) [totalled]
2 scimitars 2 rapiers

[Log 26. From the sphinx]
13000 gp, [totalled]
1500 pp, [totalled]
Garnet Figurine (of a Goddess of Destruction) set with Jet (750 gp), [totalled]
Small Tapestry threaded with Fine Steel (750 gp), [totalled]
Leopard Fur Cloak (750 gp), [totalled]
Tooled Leather Coat (750 gp), [totalled]
2 x Bolt of Electrum Cloth (750 gp), [totalled]

(-100 gp for carpenters. accounted.) [totalled]
(-250 gp for our tiefling’s network.) [totalled]
(-15,000 gp Tower, fortified.) [totalled]
(-2,500 gp Theater.) [totalled]
(-2,500 gp Library.) [totalled]
(-2,000 gp Trogdor Carousing). [totalled]

- totalled -
10,100 gp [acrued]

Rescue human prisoner from 2nd floor. He’s jonesing for baked goods. His name is Fabrique Monkay.
Pyramid of the Trog collapses. Fabrique will become skilled hireling (2 gp/day) steward.

Weird compass now pointing west most of the time. Compass ratchets and spins occasionally. No longer pointing towards temple.

Being tracked by Gnolls. They got dead after Trodor starts levitating.

4 pp [acrued]
26 sp [acrued]
184 gp [acrued]

Trogor reads his book. Bonus damage for attack just following rage. Recurrent passage in unknown language.

Make it back to Traveler’s rest.

Grumph is on the unfinished house with a whip. Harassing workers. Arc’Terix cast invisible on Grumph again. “Where my hands”

Into town. Human with dragon mask recognizes Trogdor. “He has returned as it was fortold. I gotta tell the guys.” Trogdor follows the disciple. Arc’Terix and Sander continue to tavern.

Unic (our teifling) is actually cogent.
Rumor was we were killed. Check with Reginald (Ada Tada’s son) leader of adventure guild.

One of the two council seats has been filled, Mithelye, some half-elf Aristocrat type bitch. Don’t know much about her except she thinks she’s better than everyone else. She hasn’t done anything too crazy since gaining her new role though. unskilled drunken spy master bonus of 250 gp. ( 2gp/day skilled hireling) Job to polish and deliver copper coins for Rat King.

Expansions to Guildhall structure.
Library: 2500 gp. 15 days. (might not be needed if we build a Manor)
Advantage on arcana, history, nature, religion
Theater: 2500 gp. 15 days.
Advantage on perform. Bonus inspiration.

Ongoing daily cost for Skilled Hirelings:
Drunken Spymaster; Uniq; 2 gp;
Steward; Fabrique; 2 gp;

Building Tower or Noble Manor as new structure.

Trogor receives hero-deity welcome at Colosseum. “Show us the true way” (basically, kick the shit out of something in the arena.) “WELCOME TO THE TROGLOSSEUM!” -Trogdor
Trogor murders and Anubian. The crowd goes insane.

Trogdor says bring on the next one. A wraith made of fire (firegeist) shows up. Trogdor makes short work of that as well. Trogdor is still under the influence of immunity to alcohol.

Going to adventure guild. Confront Reginald. He claims ignorance. Gave us names of three of his subordinates. Reginald has two tentacle rods.

Trogdor murders aphitere and skitterling.

A giant block party ensues. A Colosseum full of people are maximally excited.

Sander nopes out when he gets made while wearing a hat of disguise.

Grumph has more stuff.
Rat King has more stuff.

Visit Rat King. Tells us Birtha’s disciple Rasanz is behind plot to trying to murder us. Reginald smells like marble cologne. Doesn’t smell like sandstone or granite.

Rasanz: Male dwarf scholar. He wears expensive clothing and a sling of vials and potions. Has support of city dwarves and a significant portion of dwarven trade goes through him
Allied with Britha. Wants to be in the council, currently nullified by relationship with Britha, who was leader of Vecna cult.

Let’s go to Tinkerton. ~20 days. Earl Jackson enforces roads.

Notes from the sewer adventures
Rough notes from the last 2 sessions in the sewers

Room numbers are based on the order in which we entered them, not the numbers generated by donjon/mike.


room X:
entered the room we skipped
motes broke off from the beam of light and we fought them

floor 2:
room 1:
trogdor flame handsded the gas spore
then ploofed to astral plane
gas spore asploded
spiders and crocodiles attack the party
killed everything eventually…
some poison, lots of damage
trogdor vs crocodiles very funny saves
room 2:
rough stove
pallet for sleeping
bones of dead humanoids
24 gp in stone debris
room 3: trog-door equipped
room 4:
“mungo” door to the east
trogdor kicks down west door while party goes east
mungo door opens when dudes in west door run and flip switch
room 5:
a big ass shield guardian
we fight
arc’teryx basically did everything with heat metal
sander and trogdor missed a lot
but when trogdor did hit it was usually decent
also crazy magic damage reduction for trodor
took hits like a serious tank
trogdor went down for the second time
92 gp

We mopped up that Mungo shield guardian…

in the same room:
we discuss that constructs are associated with WIZARDS!

we go back a bit to the unopened iron doors:
“the usual fashion”
trogdor failed, hurt himself
sander failed, it was lightning trapped, but barely escaped
trypan failed, because behind the door was spiders
trypan got webbed and poisoned
sander shot one
arc’ killed one and danced away
trogdor did the oil flask fire breath thing
arc’teryx did a twist&flip+hair tustle over the gnome, AND hit a spider with his whip, for the killing blow
second flip whip kill after trogdor smashed the one that shot itself the eyes twice with web
trypan tells the party that the spiders probably have a lot to do with the drow, the drider, and lolth, the goddess of “treachery and spiders and shit”
trogdor considers eating spiders
arc’teryx eats some after failing to convince trog to
it’s… just okay

back in the Mungo room:
long rest

we approach the unopened door to the north
trogdor listens and smells
it was trapped… trogdor got poison damage
he then kicked it down
kitchens are due east. lunch smells good.
the assassins probably take their meals here

we take the hallway south
it leads around to the kitchen, too
no one is there
weapons lying around
we eat what slightly overcooked food was there
smells like warm bedding to the east, to trogdor
north has no smells

to the east
barracks, apparently
we made sander invisible and let him explore
lots of rope and several dark gray cloaks
the cloaks carry the symbol for vecna

sander, invisible, explores another hallway south
it goes pretty far…
it’s a door back to the room with the dead guy

sander goes south past the barracks
hallways for days

sander goes north past the barracks
“this appears to be where the magic happens”
meeting room with tables, lighting, book cases
anyone who was here has left
there’s a note… which we ignore

we go south around some bends:
sander, invisible, finds 4 enemies
trogdor gives him oil flasks
sander lays down oil flasks under the guys
trogdor sneaks up and ignites one of them
can’t speak; bubbles from mouth (tides of chaos)
we assassinate, magic, and maul them
sander one-shot the caster
we get 30 gp!

we find the stairs, but clear the floor:
sander takes the note from the table
“you have done well. accept this treasure as a token of my gratitude and as payment for future donations”
bookcase on northern wall

we find a room with people actively dying to the north
there’s a symbol not to vecna here
probably lolth
a dark skinned elf saunters in from an alcove to the south
says slippery, hissing quality stuff
she has two giant spiders with her
arc’ makes her scale mail glow red hot
trogdor smacks her with an oil flask in a pillow
also a maul
we continue to fight…
she poisons trogdor
trogdor greased himself
she and her spiders were some tough cookies
but we eventually got ’em
she had a “scourge” weapon… not cool. also roasted scale mail
we got 185 gp!

south of the murder room, “southern alcove”:
symbols to vecna are messed up
symbol to lolth is in their place
mostly dead assassins in this area
likely killed by priestess to lolth
likely re-consecrating area to lolth

north west room:
phase spiders
92 gp
spider’s poison HURTS
one of them phases…

treasure room!!!!:
3117 gp!
potion of healing!
note in undercommon!

we should say hi to the rat king on the way out:
gives us rewards for fighting assassins:
3x potion of greater healing
total gold is 8827 gp
spell scroll (Calm)
Goggles of Night

total xp: 9500 / 4 = 2375

You Can't Spell Manslaughter Without Laughter
Enlist in the Hard Corps

Need to finish this

The “Lost” Journal of Arc’teryx

Tales of the Heroes of Auto-Immolatio
Chapter 89 – Spelunking and Spelashing and Speiders

Thieves and Assassins. It’s a classic matchup, and everyone has their favorite team. Auto-Immolatio threw their lot in with the Thieves’ Guild because otherwise things would be awkward with Sander, though with their collective résumé, they’d look good to either guild on paper. Also the assassins were probably in league with the god the party was hunting. Also the thieves were going to pay the party to mess with the assassins. Calling it win-win was like saying Trogdor “thought fire was neato.” At the earliest opportunity, our heroes embarked on a delightfully ironic quest into the cavernous sewers beneath the city, the Assassins’ Lair and the Den of the Rat King, to kill killers.

Scene: rainwater, drainage sewers. Party descends upon a stairway into darkness. A sign reads, “Beware, you enter the domain of the Rat King.” Beneath in blood reads, “Fuck off Rat King.” Dead rats everywhere. Cue jokes, like “one way ticket to murdertropolis” and “deadly deals at the super merc-it” and “it’s a steel” and “you won’t be disa-point-ed.” But nothing brightens the mood. Dark deeds are afoot.

Further in, another signed etched into the wall reads, “Piss on you Rat King.” Seems the Rat King is popular, but probably needs some PR help. As the party advances down a long hallway, a trap is sprung! A net falls on Trogdor, and then… nothing. He is cut loose, and the group presses on. A dark room lay bare but for a chain. Another trap, “Ah hah,” says Sander. Alas, ’tis but a chain of unexpected ordinarity. In the adjacent room, however, were hosts of extra-ordinarity. Inviting our heroes in for a casual meal, a family of giant spiders met their end in a violent inferno fueled by a full bandolier of flasks of oil. Their charred remains were quickly abandoned and forgotten.

More rooms contained debris, halfling bones, and more signage reading “Beware my wrath,” which is fairly lame as far as passive-aggressive notes go. Two men stand guard against our heroes by a door, awaiting a password. The first thing that comes to Sander’s mind is the first thing he says, and is also wrong. With some patience, through trial and error, the party manages to piece together the password, which was a simple pattern of violence with mauls, fire, arrows, and burning a guard alive by turning his armor into a form-fitting, skin-tight oven. In his awkward death throes, the burning man triggers a landslide trap that fills the doorway and bars their passage. His muffled screams heard through the rubble fade to silence as his allies give up on him.

Noblesse Oblique
To Hunt a Dark God, You Must Think Like a Dark God

An excerpt from the personal journal of Arc’teryx

The Tales of the Heroes of Auto-Immilatio
Chapter 88 – ’Twas Our Darkest Several Hours

Dear Reader,

First off, if this is the first chapter you’ve found, I want you to know that all the previous chapters definitely exist. You’re missing out, and you should look harder for them. They’re probably in an ancient dragon’s treasure horde, or something. Go collect all the pages! What are you waiting for?

Now back to the story!

As everyone knows, because it was in the last chapter, duh, the brave and noble Abercrombie was revealed to be a member of the Holy Order of the Swashbuckling Swine. People know him, but he keeps it cool, because that’s just how he is. His glowy magic powers make a bit more sense with that context. Our hero Arc’teryx is excited to learn more, if only he had a way to do so… Maybe he has a plan, and maybe it’ll happen soon!

Back at the tavern, Arc’teryx was busy styling on everyone with his Hat of Disguise and Adamantine Armor until Trogdor acquired a dope-ass Magic Cloak. “Fight swagg with swagg,” as the saying goes. Hoping to boost his stage presence, the bard used the Hat to appear a full foot taller than normal. Few, if any, have taken notice. Instead, rumors of soldiers adorned in noble purple and yellow abound.

Sander would later lead the party on an intelligence gathering operation near the docks. In hindsight, it would seem the two Dragonborn would need to gather a different kind of intelligence before such a mission, but it was worth a shot. The two instead simply roused rabble, were thrown out, and continued to dance and make music in the streets. Sander managed to meet with a shady individual who would agree to our heroes’ request to murder a man for a small sum of gold. I know what you’re thinking, because I know how that sounds, but just take it on good faith that these gallant adventurers had a good reason to pay hitmen to murder a stranger. It’s not like the mark was into charity and stuff. He was just a super annoying alcoholic. Eesh, anyway…

Arc’teryx disguised himself convincingly as a drunk old man who stumbled onto the scene of the hit, conspicuously enough to hide in plain sight. From there, Sander took over and ninja vanished his way along until the assassins took the body into a sewer. The group later found a note back at the Outrageous Dragon instructing them to bring payment to the Stamping Skunk for the dark night’s deeds.

Taking a brief hiatus from cloak and dagger tomfoolery, Arc’teryx again tested the waters for his campaign to open the eyes of the lower and middle class denizens of the city to the evils and follies of the rich and noble. He had begun to try sewing the seeds of dischord through colorful ballads and crude limericks, when he was approached by none other than Britha, an aging councilwoman bearing purple and gold finery and an amulet of glowing crystal. She walked with the weight of wealth upon her shoulders, held aloft by air of noxious superiority. Having obviously arrived because Arc’teryx was achieving some success with his musical taunts, she immediately played all the cards in her losing hand. Wisely fearing the unseen depths of his cunning plans, the bejeweled hag threatened his life while simultaneously acknowledging his talents, asking to be spared the sharper edges of his wit, requesting a favor for a friend named Lady Rasanz, and offering to lend him protection. Bribing him with a big jewel could have been an attempt at irony, but more likely she simply saw more dragon about him than satirist. Arc’teryx’s first groupie was a complete psycho.

In the end the party accepted her offer, because it was late and a bad time to make rash decisions. If she thought they were all super stoked on her, it would just be more convenient later. The notion of someone like Kater Erneyng attaining a seat on the council through sinister means and manipulation was also intriguing, and deserving of attention. The team was looking for evidence to substantiate rumors about a council member holding ties to Vecna. And lo, as good things come to those who actively disrupt the forces of darkness, a letter inviting them to an obvious trap referenced their recently destroyed idol to the dark god as bait.

Little planning was required to pull a quick reversal on the sprung trap, and suddenly a dark alley was slick with a pulpy bandit mist. Two survivors were held for questioning, but one was a blithering idiot and the other killed himself to slightly delay our heroes’ progress, like a spiteful prick. His body was hung near the wealthy district as a message to team Vecna. Comically, in a cosmic sense, and in a gruesome coincidence, the body of the priest who destroyed their idol was left out in a similar fashion on the same night. Touche, Vecna.


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